Category: Reflection

Death of the American Dream – Ambition, Consequence, and Why You Fail Without Them

Felix Baumgartner’s 2012 Red Bull Stratos skydive set world records for altitude (39 km) and velocity (Mach 1.24).

A lot has happened in the past year. I have celebrated the anniversary of one entire year with my amazing and beautiful girlfriend, I have recorded, produced and released an acoustic version of my band’s début album on my own, I have watched my best friend in the entire world marry a woman whom he is absolutely crazy about, and I have stuck by my family and loved ones through some treacherously trying times.

This post is about dating, relationships, pickup and seduction. But it is also about life, learning, the birth and death of the American dream, and everything in between.

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In the Friend Zone

In the Friend Zone? Say hello to Friend Zone Fiona, our least favourite internet meme.

When we fall for someone, we make ourselves vulnerable. We give another individual the power to make us feel wonderful, but also to destroy us entirely. Some of us struggle more than others with the ease with which we allow ourselves to become emotionally invested in someone of the opposite sex, which puts us in the friend zone and forces us to figure out for ourselves how to get over girl-related frustrations. My response as a young man in my late adolescent years was to cut off the feeling of emotional investment entirely. If I am not allowing myself to value girl so highly that I become vulnerable, I thought, then I run no risk of being hurt.

If only life were so logical.

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Meeting Girls on Facebook

True story: picking up girls on Facebook is weird. I asked seven girls why.

In the increasingly wide world of online dating, one will invariably run into the discussion of social networking and meeting girls on Facebook. For the past few years I have maintained a personal policy to avoid “opening” new girls on Facebook with smalltalk. I have always felt it is awkward, and whilst I have had a few “successful” interactions that have led to dates and more, I still see cold-opening via Facebook to be a poor card to play.

In my search for justification for my beliefs, I went to those whose opinions matter most: the lovely ladies of Facebook. Some of the responses were as expected. Others provided some invaluable insight as to why guys who try to pick up girls on Facebook tend to wind up in the friend zone – or worse.

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Cheesy Pickup Lines or Communication Skills – the HOW and the WHYI do not mean to imply that you should burn the list of comic one-liners you have made. This post is simply intended to get to the bottom of the process of experimental learning, perhaps helping to reveal, among other things, why cheesy pick up lines generally do not work.

Background: One Friday afternoon about six months ago I had a fantastically thought-provoking conversation with a newcomer to the realm of self-development over beers at the Blackstone Brewpub and Brewery in Nashville, and I have been thinking off-and-on about a certain concept, this one aspect of dating and lifestyle development, ever since. Regardless of your particular personal goals, understanding that relationships and learning are multidimensional in nature will vastly increase the ease with which you communicate with the women you meet.

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